“If a teacher resists making accommodations,” she says, “I praise his high standards and say how glad I am that he expects the student with ADHD to reach them, too.” Starting with a compliment does not fix the problem, but it may make it easier to talk about how problems might be solved. Welch recommends starting the conversation with something positive, even if it means “reframing” something that is a real problem. Their “theoretical model” probably isn’t complete. But, unless they are an adult with their own ADHD issues, they haven’t lived with it. Likewise, the teacher has probably read about ADHD or studied it somewhere. The teacher standing in front of the classroom today may have a vastly different perspective about learning and classroom expectations. But this is a student perspective, and unless you’re a parent who happens to currently be enrolled in high school, it is from the viewpoint of someone who attended school many years ago. Most adults attended school at one time or another, which means that most parents are former students who have their own perspective about what should happen in a classroom. Now, imagine taking that child home with you every day. “If you are a teacher,” says Welch, “close your eyes and imagine a child you teach on his or her worst day. Teachers, too, need to be more empathetic. This is the life of the teacher.” Parents may feel inclined to send sympathy cards to the school after completing such an exercise. Now, imagine dealing with 25 other children at the same time. “If you are a parent, close your eyes and think of your child on his or her worst day. Gaining Some PerspectiveĮducational Consultant Ann Welch offers some perspective on getting perspective. This is clearly not an example we wish our children to follow.) As with most truth, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Unfortunately, Goldilocks isn’t around to tell us which perspective is “just right.” (Besides, Goldilocks has some behavioral issues of her own, with habits like trespassing, destruction of personal property, stealing food and sleeping in strange beds. The parent who has watched their child struggle may think that the teacher’s expectations are unrealistic the teacher sees a bright, if somewhat unmotivated, kid and may think that the parent’s expectations are too low. Parents are sometimes reluctant to push their children. Teachers may not realize the full impact of the child’s ADHD. Often, these conversations can become angry discussions about what is best for the child and whose responsibility it is to meet those needs. Having to talk to teachers (or counselors, principal, or disciplinary officers, etc.) is part of having a child with ADHD. For some parents of children with ADHD, it still is one of our biggest fears. Admit it: when you were a kid, being sent to the principal’s office was one of your biggest fears.
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